Joey Diaz

It's really fucking sharp.

That's smart.

I'm just not in the mood to get beat up with fucking leaves at this point in my life.

When I used to go to the YMCA in Hollywood, the good one, there were Russians in there in the mornings with the hoods on.

They wear the hoods to keep the healing.

And they'd have the vodka there.

I did this because I was so heavy I was embarrassed to go.

any other time of the day, so I would go at 4.45.

And I would sit in the fucking banya with them, whatever, the steam bath, and then I would go on the other one, the sauna, the steam bath, and then I would swim.

And I just swam more and more every day.

This went on for about six months.

One day I get there about 5 a.m., I open up the fucking door, and there's a dude completely balls-ass naked laying where the Russians sit, okay?

Balls-ass naked.

Just on a fucking towel.

Dick out, didn't give a Frenchman's fuck.

I sat there for about five minutes and all I kept thinking was, these Russians ain't gonna like it when they come in here.

Sure enough, the fucking three Russians came in.

They asked the guy to move.

The dude didn't fucking move and it was not good after that.

Right in the YMCA.