John Ballen
speaker
344 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Dec 2024
John Ballen’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I was in the library all the time, like feeling, like getting to feel what it feels like to be working towards a goal and achieving it was like really addictive for me. And so by the time I was like in my last year in college, I actually ironically had no clue what I would do post-college. It was sort of like, Well, the goal was just to graduate college. I don't really have a clue what's next.
And I thought about briefly becoming a lawyer or something because I was studying philosophy and English because I liked those two subjects and they sort of fit the mold. But I had always sort of had this calling to serve in the military because my – just some friends of mine in high school went off to serve in the military in 2006. Like they went to Iraq and Afghanistan.
But I wanted to do something really hard in the military because I needed like a big goal. And like graduating college was this goal that I had achieved. And I was like, I want to do something hard in the military. And that's when I got turned on to the SEAL teams. And the cool thing about the Navy SEAL teams is virtually anybody can apply to be a SEAL. You have to have the right physical fitness.
You have to be a citizen. There's a few things, but basically anybody can try out. but it's only those who survived the training that become SEALs. And it's a really small percentage of people.
And it just really was the thing that was like, wait a minute, if I do that, if I go through like this baptism of going through this rigorous training, I'll become a guy that will no longer be viewed as like the screw up in high school who sort of got it together with college. I'll be able to reinvent myself. I'll be able to serve in the military, which is something I felt the calling to do.
It's a career that I can kind of progress into. And it's a big freaking challenge that's going to require a whole bunch of training and prep before I get to go. And so I kind of just shifted my goal from graduate college to become a Navy SEAL. And everything fell in line. And then naturally after that, I became a YouTuber, which is an even longer story. But basically, I...
Yeah, I became a SEAL, and then I got hurt, medically retired, and then I basically posted something online that went viral. And I love telling stories, as you can see from this long intro. And I just kept telling stories, and now I'm here. But it started with setting a goal and achieving it, which sounds so basic. But I think a lot of people go through life just sort of
doing stuff because they were told to or they just sort of fell into it. I found like setting a goal that's really consciously something you care about for whatever reason and working hard to achieve it, it like organizes your whole life. And so my life starting with coming home from college and being in the basement has been a series of set a goal and shoot for that goal.
And that's all that matters.
It's a harsh truth when you realize it's your fault or a big part of it is your fault. But that's what self-awareness is, like taking responsibility for the good and the bad.
I would say that when I was, you know, pre-basement moment, I was definitely in the mindset of playing the victim. And if something bad happened, it was somebody else's fault and not taking responsibility for anything. I was the guy that would come home from school and I'd tell my mom, like, you wouldn't believe that we had a test today. Joey got a 50.
got a 65 but joey got a 50. it's like you're sort of like that's the way you approach it versus like i failed the test um but when i sort of decided i would graduate college and organize my life around that and then become a seal i realized that it's not enough to simply just say i'm gonna do this thing like you need to own like the entire process and like for example in uh in
in seal training there were a couple moments where like i myself failed miserably catastrophically i like tests and opportunities to to be a leader and i just like squandered it in in a way so the way seal training works is it's very reputational like as you go along uh in training you know it's like the closer you get to graduation the closer you get to being a real seal and so your instructors
Those are active duty SEALs, and they're no longer viewing you towards the end of training as being just some like, oh, candidate. Now it's like you could be my teammate. There's not too many of us. And so it changes from you aren't going to make it to you better do a good job because I might need your help down the line.
And I remember in the final part of training, there's this confidence exercise where they basically expose your class to tear gas, which is something that's pretty standard in the military. And the only thing they say is like this is a – like it's all about mentality here. It's a confidence booster. It's going to suck. It's going to make you want to feel like you're dying from this gas.
And it's like a long exposure. And they set you up in this square. You're all just standing. You're kneeling shoulder to shoulder, if you will, out in this open field on San Clemente Island in California. And all the instructors have their gas masks on. And they have these pool sticks that you would swap trash out of a pool. But at the end, they have the CS grenade canisters.
And they're like, all right. They put their masks on. They fire off these CS grenades. This big white smoke comes out. And they hold out the pole. And you get covered in CS gas. And all you have to do. It's not run. Just stay here and take it. That's the whole point. And I ran. It was like a fight or flight instinct completely. It was like before I – and it was instant.
It wasn't like, oh, this is really bad. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? It was like instantaneously. I ran. I had to get tackled by one of the instructors because I was just out. I wasn't even thinking. It was like – and nobody else ran. This is the end of training. And so afterwards, it's like I was brought into the amphitheater.
There's this little theater where they would teach us classes about ordinance and whatever. And they were like, Alan, stand up. And all my peers know I did this. All the instructors know I did this. And he just goes, the main instructor, he's like, Alan, you're a fucking pussy. Sit down. He goes, you're a fucking pussy. And I never want to serve with you. And neither should your classmates.
Sit down. And that was it. And I had to, from that point on, for the rest of training, wear these like, it's almost like a bikini over my shorts. And it was like the worst moment ever because I've made it so far into training. But I knew, and also, by the way, at this point, we weren't even home. I wasn't able to go home and see my wife. We're out at this island for a month.
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