John Doyle

I actually dated a girl one time who was liberal, and we got into it about the trans stuff, and I told her what I thought, and she started laughing at me.

And she produced a photo of herself as a toddler, and it looked exactly like a little boy.

And I have never genuinely been more scared in my life.

I thought I was gonna have to kill you.

If I have more points than you by the end of this, you have to drink two of those martinis within a 10 minute time period.

Wow.

It's not a martini.

I was told, actually, because of the fruity implication, I was not allowed to join you in having a gin martini.

Oftentimes when I'm in public and I hear people accusing you of being fruity because of your drink choice, I always refer them instead to things like your intro.

Yeah, my intro, my intro.

Yes, yeah.

It's not even in the top 20.

Right.

Now, what are you drinking?

This is a Tom Collins.

So that's just gin, I think some club soda, some lemon.

Tom Collins is a nice, good old wasp drink.

Right.

I love a good Tom Collins.

That's me, a white Anglo-Saxon papist.