John Mulaney
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Like, we had to bring her back just to plumb her depths of horribleness.
She's got a fat ass, and Mexicans love fat asses.
She has a juicy ass.
Hey, Mark.
What's happening, Ace?
What's happening, Mark?
Yeah, yeah.
Listen, my daughter's starting to piss me off.
First off, my wife has an attractive friend named Jody, and she was over at the house the other day.
And somehow when someone's good-looking, it makes everything more embarrassing.
It's unfortunate, but when people are ugly, you're like, eh, who cares?
They see me vomit on myself or do whatever.
But when they're hot, it gets a little more embarrassing.
Jody's a good-looking blonde, and she's sitting there.
And I was...
I'm trying to get my kids to cuddle with me, to come into bed and cuddle with me.
I like to cuddle.