John Oliver

You have health insurance. This guy has health insurance. The guy with a skateboard and without functioning shoelaces. How the f*** does that work out? Even visitors to the island were initially impressed.

Until a few days later when they realized they'd been tricked into receiving socialized care.

Until a few days later when they realized they'd been tricked into receiving socialized care.

Luckily, Republicans were here to save Hawaiians from themselves. What would you say to Hawaiians who say, I have government mandated health care and I love it?

Luckily, Republicans were here to save Hawaiians from themselves. What would you say to Hawaiians who say, I have government mandated health care and I love it?

Yes.

Yes.

Right. And what would you say to a Hawaiian who said, what? That's meaningless. That's just a bit of folksy nonsense that doesn't have any real substance.

Right. And what would you say to a Hawaiian who said, what? That's meaningless. That's just a bit of folksy nonsense that doesn't have any real substance.

What if that Hawaiian then said, OK, you've got that chance, dazzle me?

What if that Hawaiian then said, OK, you've got that chance, dazzle me?

These poor bastards just didn't realize they were living in a socialist nightmare, forced to scrounge for a living, unable even to afford shirts, many driven to suicide. But for those who do survive, what will their world look like?

These poor bastards just didn't realize they were living in a socialist nightmare, forced to scrounge for a living, unable even to afford shirts, many driven to suicide. But for those who do survive, what will their world look like?

Exactly. With only four decades of testing, America simply cannot afford to join this dangerous experiment. What would happen, do you think, if this health care system made it to the mainland? That question I couldn't answer. I'll tell you what the answer is. What is the answer? Every single person in the United States would be dead. Thank goodness we have experts like these to save us.

Exactly. With only four decades of testing, America simply cannot afford to join this dangerous experiment. What would happen, do you think, if this health care system made it to the mainland? That question I couldn't answer. I'll tell you what the answer is. What is the answer? Every single person in the United States would be dead. Thank goodness we have experts like these to save us.

I am a law, a 2,000-page law. Congress passed me without one single flaw. I make sure Wall Street plays by the new regulations, protecting your investments across the entire nation.

I am a law, a 2,000-page law. Congress passed me without one single flaw. I make sure Wall Street plays by the new regulations, protecting your investments across the entire nation.

I don't want to say it, but you look like s***. easy washington's a tough town john since getting past yeah i've taken a few shots but i'm still standing yeah yes yes i'm still standing i'm still here in fact just last week my all-new consumer financial protection board opened for business as soon as it gets a director we'll be off to the races so wait there's there's no director

I don't want to say it, but you look like s***. easy washington's a tough town john since getting past yeah i've taken a few shots but i'm still standing yeah yes yes i'm still standing i'm still here in fact just last week my all-new consumer financial protection board opened for business as soon as it gets a director we'll be off to the races so wait there's there's no director

Confirmation in the Senate, there's no motion. Obama could have used a recess appointment to give her the job without her vote, but he didn't do it because his feelings weren't that strong. Wow. But you know what? That's interesting. You know what, John? It doesn't matter. I've still got 400 tough new rules to remake our broken and corrupt financial system.