John Oliver

To all my friends, I hope that we have a prosperous, healthy, and secure New Year's. Happy New Year, everybody.

Steve Carell, ladies and gentlemen. Wow. First of all, thank you for allowing us to go on this emotional journey with you. My pleasure. Now, how is the new diet going for you?

Steve Carell, ladies and gentlemen. Wow. First of all, thank you for allowing us to go on this emotional journey with you. My pleasure. Now, how is the new diet going for you?

I think you mean regimen, not regime.

I think you mean regimen, not regime.

I actually think it's shortening, vegetable shortening, so it doesn't- It serves up just like ice cream.

I actually think it's shortening, vegetable shortening, so it doesn't- It serves up just like ice cream.

Steve Carell, ladies and gentlemen. Steve Carell. Wow. For people at home who are watching this, which one of these two doctors that you met with would you recommend?

Steve Carell, ladies and gentlemen. Steve Carell. Wow. For people at home who are watching this, which one of these two doctors that you met with would you recommend?

So did you go with another plastic surgeon, one that was less expensive? Well, not exactly.

So did you go with another plastic surgeon, one that was less expensive? Well, not exactly.

You're listening to an iHeart Podcast. You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

You're listening to an iHeart Podcast. You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

Frankly, I do not pretend to be the most qualified person to lay out the full argument.

Frankly, I do not pretend to be the most qualified person to lay out the full argument.

When people drink, we don't allow them to drive. Why? Well, because their motor skills are inhibited and their judgment is inhibited.

When people drink, we don't allow them to drive. Why? Well, because their motor skills are inhibited and their judgment is inhibited.

A gun is more dangerous than a car if you've got alcohol involved. So... I'm just saying that guns in bars shouldn't be allowed with alcohol.

A gun is more dangerous than a car if you've got alcohol involved. So... I'm just saying that guns in bars shouldn't be allowed with alcohol.

Look, if you're so paranoid that you don't believe you can walk into a bar without a gun, then you probably shouldn't be there in the first place.