John Oliver

He was doing that. He was dying. He was dying of a medieval brain disease. It drove him crazy, but he could see that it was an unreasonable request.

And you know what, John? Don't be sad about it. We couldn't be more proud. This shouldn't be a sad time. The arc of history is so long, it eventually becomes a circle. And you end up right where you started. You might even call it the circle of life. In fact, if I may sing the great imperial subject, Sir Elton John's opening Zulu chants from The Lion King. Please stop me, John. Please.

And you know what, John? Don't be sad about it. We couldn't be more proud. This shouldn't be a sad time. The arc of history is so long, it eventually becomes a circle. And you end up right where you started. You might even call it the circle of life. In fact, if I may sing the great imperial subject, Sir Elton John's opening Zulu chants from The Lion King. Please stop me, John. Please.

Please stop me from doing that. I do not want to do it. John, please stop me. Please stop me. I don't want to go out like this. Stop me, John. All right! John Oliver, everybody!

Please stop me from doing that. I do not want to do it. John, please stop me. Please stop me. I don't want to go out like this. Stop me, John. All right! John Oliver, everybody!

I mean, I really like omelets. I could eat an omelet at every meal. I like omelets better than sex. Not really, but you get the point. I'm like, you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.

I mean, I really like omelets. I could eat an omelet at every meal. I like omelets better than sex. Not really, but you get the point. I'm like, you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.

I've watched them do everything from change diapers to heat formula. Many of these are single young men who are not particularly good at that, but they're really getting better.

I've watched them do everything from change diapers to heat formula. Many of these are single young men who are not particularly good at that, but they're really getting better.

For some people, that looks dry. For others, it might look damp. A damp January would mean only drinking on special occasions, adding more dry days to your month, or consuming fewer drinks in each sitting.

For some people, that looks dry. For others, it might look damp. A damp January would mean only drinking on special occasions, adding more dry days to your month, or consuming fewer drinks in each sitting.

I didn't know we'd be talking to an actual scientist.

I didn't know we'd be talking to an actual scientist.

Well, then let me ask you again, why can we still breathe? That's what I'm asking. I mean, you can hear me, right? We're breathing.

Well, then let me ask you again, why can we still breathe? That's what I'm asking. I mean, you can hear me, right? We're breathing.

Do you understand?

Do you understand?

Paramount Podcasts. You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

Paramount Podcasts. You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

To all my friends, I hope that we have a prosperous, healthy, and secure New Year's. Happy New Year, everybody.