John Oliver
speaker
2,112 appearances
32 recordings
5 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard 8 Jul
John Oliver’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 7 in all, peaking in Jan 2026 with 2.
Appearances
What with that whole killing of the most wanted terrorist on the planet thing.
That's right.
Osama bin Laden, the former leader of al-Qaeda and former living inhabitants of the planet Earth, was forced to surrender both of those titles around the time that a bullet developed a very strong attraction to his face.
And he was a tall, handsome man, bin Laden Andy, but I have to admit that I always thought that he'd have looked even better if he'd considered getting his left eyebrow pierced with a bullet.
And I think I was right about that.
about that.
I think his face was successfully accessorised with a piece of high-speed pointy metal jewellery.
It certainly feels like a much more pleasant globe to live on this week without Bin Laden living on it too.
It's like when a terrible neighbour moves away and property prices in adjacent properties automatically go up.
By dying, Bin Laden has effectively gentrified this entire planet.
To prove this, upon news of his death, the stock market went up and,
oil prices went down as if collectively everyone agreed that things had just got slightly better as if the world breathed a sigh of relief and together muttered oh good that is good now i don't know where you were when you found out andy i'm guessing you were asleep but i just finished watching 60 minutes and was checking in with the mets phillies game when it became clear that something very important was about to happen and the president was going to address the nation and
And after watching him announce that America had successfully located and killed bin Laden, I started watching the news.
And then I flicked through the channels a couple of hours later to see that the Mets were still playing the Phillies.
It was the 14th inning and they had resumed the game.
And most of the crowd was still there.
And not only were they still there, they were watching the game with complete concentration.
And I've got to say, as a sports fan, I find that so impressive.
Remember, this is a meaningless game at the start of May between one team which will challenge for the World Series and one that will not make the playoffs.
To care about that at all is a challenge.
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