John R. Miles

I can completely relate to what you're saying because a lot of the work that I do is not only for children, like my most recent children's book, but I really studied the science of mattering.

And I have a book coming out in October called the mattering effects.

So I've actually interviewed over a hundred leading scientists for this book and.

Two of the people I spoke to while researching the book were Susan Cain and Laurie Santos.

And they were both talking to me about the toxic positivity that they were seeing on college campuses.

In the case of Susan, it was going back to her alma mater, Princeton.

And in the case of Laurie, it was Yale where she teaches.

I think Lori gave a great description in our conversation.

She said what's happening is so many of these students are experiencing duck syndrome.

And what she was saying is they appear fine on the surface, but underneath,

they're just paddling and paddling with their feet as fast as they can go because they're not feeling seen.

They're not feeling accepted.

And I have to tell you, when you lose that sense of mattering, it's compounding because to me, mattering is really the core operating system that we have.

And if you don't feel like you matter, it's nearly impossible for you to make someone else feel like they matter.

And so therefore you're not gonna get the reciprocal mattering felt back to you.

And I think,

For so many of us, we're in such a hurry today that we're not giving that attention to other people like we have for a millennia before the times we're living in now.

Do you relate to that?

Thank you for sharing that.

I wanted to move the discussion to the topic of expectations, manifestation and the brain.