John Robbins

And I just remember we were sat watching a film in the afternoon and I just remember knowing that the bottle of wine was in the kitchen.

And I just couldn't stop thinking about it.

And I, I said, I'm going to the, I'm just going to the loo.

And I walked past the toilet into the kitchen and I just picked up the bottle and, and took a swig and then poured some and then mixed it with orange juice.

And then my mum's behind me and was like, what the hell are you doing?

You know, and these things only really came back to me when I was writing the book.

And I was able to see them, because a lot of people have stories like that, right?

You know, kids have sips of beer and sips of wine and parents go, you can have that, I'll put a bit of lemonade in it, whatever.

It's very normal.

But I was able to kind of see them through the lens of what I'd learned about alcoholism.

And I was like, that seven-year-old...

was beginning to obsess about something.

And he was also looking for a way of changing how he felt.

And he also hid his drinking.

He lied about it.

He concealed it.

And I don't, it's not said with any blame or, you know, nothing but compassion for that seven-year-old.

But those, those things are markers that he might be someone who would go on to have a problem with alcohol.

And treating his behavior with compassion in the same way I would treat any seven-year-old's behavior with compassion, I would like to think.

It's a really important part of my sobriety because I'm someone who's quite adept at finding kind of sticks to beat myself with and being critical and being hard on myself.