John Robbins

But then when I was away from them, I relapsed and then went back to them.

And do you know what?

I think I found alcohol.

Yeah.

Alcohol moved into that space.

But I knew that if I ever had a bet again, it would be catastrophic.

And in the same way, I now know, you know, I can't say I won't drink again.

I tend not to really...

worry too much about that and try and stay present, try and stay in today.

But I know I will die if I do that, or I'll end up in a prison or an institution.

It might not be in a week, might not be in a month or a year, but that's what's waiting for me.

So the option is there.

Yeah.

But I've tried and failed so many times to drink like other people drink.

I have exhausted every single possible combination, time of day, type of alcohol, rules, regulations.

And the night I decided to stop, what was driving that moment, I think, was I was exhausted.

I tried everything.

It's certainly right to say that the 12 steps don't have a monopoly on getting sober or being sober.

But I think what I am aware of now looking back is that I could, the way my head was early doors, not in a billion years could I have done this on my own.

And I couldn't have done this by telling friends.