Johnny Smacks

The Stand.

You know what?

We were there before.

And my mother used to dress me up as a young lad on a Sunday in her boots...

and a checker and a checker shirt and I'd have the cowboy hat and you know I used to get the Fisher Price microphone the little head microphone and Tommy Mac who used to own the stand bought me a guitar and every Sunday my mother would bring me down and I'd come out of women's jacks and everyone would be like woo cheering and all and I'd come out and sing Red Strokes

whoa the red strokes still you know still there tell you that was my wembley coming out of ladies jacks what age were you i say i was probably five or six you'd be blinded then because people could smoke in the pub as well like you go home the two eyes be just hanging out your head you're absolutely buzzing on lucas head all that around 15 lucas heads and 15 packets of bacon fries needless to say i was as big as garrett brooks when i was six

I was a big child, though.

Granny's fry-ups.

Yeah, it was me nanny's fries.

I used to stay at me nanny's on a Saturday night and give me mother a break.

And I'd wake up on a Sunday morning, and I swear to God, and I'm not exaggerating here, you'd have six sausages, six rashers, and do you know the roll I used to eat was actually a duck loaf?

You know like a full Cuisine de France A duck loaf they're called In Marlowe's looking at me They don't call them duck loaves That's a Ross Grayism definitely Like you know a full Whatever they're called You know you pay like a euro For them at Super Value And they're like a full Big roll Like a big two foot Yeah that's what I'm on about A baguette A duck yeah A demi baguette A baguette A baguette Yeah so that's what I used to have On a Sunday morning And on a Saturday night I'd have a big feed of marshmallows And you were a big young fella Yeah that was big Yeah there was a photo of me Playing hurling It's on me Instagram You'll see it from 6th class

And I can't even get GA shorts to fit me I have a pair of AC Milan shorts on Them old denim ones I couldn't get more for my arse at all

I actually borrowed them off Felipe and Zaggy.

But, like, as far as jobs go, we've had people on to us saying, like, oh, fun, hate me job, Monday, you know, really hate me job.

Go and do something about it.

Do you know what I mean?

Don't be fucking miserable.

Now, I'm not saying go out and everybody hand in their notice tomorrow morning.

Do it.