Jon Stewart
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Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
There are thousands of people here.
They started screaming and chanting, daddy's home and daddy dog.
It's like daddy arrived and he's taking his belt off.
When dad gets home, you know what he says?
You've been a bad girl.
You've been a bad little girl and you're getting a vigorous spanking right now.
Check the stats, stop throwing stones.
Straighten up, sucker, because daddy's home.
What the hell?
What the hell-y?
You're 54 years old.
You can't be talking about needing a daddy if you have an AARP card, okay?
My God, if you got daddy issues, don't go into politics.
Become a stripper like a normal person, okay?
Creepy porn should decide.
When most MAGA folks say they want a daddy, what they mean is they want somebody to protect them, and that's what Trump promises all the time.
You will once again have a protector in the White House.
I'm gonna be a protector.
Yeah, Trump is protection the same way a condom is.