Jon Stewart

It's not a close battle.

They're totally defeated.

I don't know what it is about you saying it a third time, but I believe you, all right?

We gotta be winning this war.

You wouldn't lie nonstop.

You're the president.

Look, according to People Magazine and apparently the US military, 42 is the new 35, right?

And that's probably all the soldiers we're gonna need anyway.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced an extension to bring back service members who refused the COVID-19 vaccine.

We do.

Oh, shit.

That doesn't sound good.

When the Secretary of Defense is telling you, I know you didn't want to take the COVID shot, but what about getting gunshot?

So you gave people a deadline to reenlist, and they didn't take it, and now you're still extending the deadline to get them back.

You are not the one with power.

I've been through this entire thing before.

My ex left me, and I told her she'd be back in a week.

And sure enough, a year later... I got a wedding invitation.

So just to recap, the military is now trying to recruit middle-aged people and anti-vaxxers who don't even want to come back.

As long as they're not trying to bring in anybody else, maybe we're winning this war.