Jonathan Fields

Before we get there, though, I don't want to leave behind those three sort of imperatives slash fears that you talked about.

So one was biological, one was cultural.

What was the third again?

Okay.

If these things can be elements that create resistance to us stepping into a dating mode to actively searching for love, how do we unwind those or how do we learn how to walk with them in a more constructive way?

That's interesting.

So you take that into account.

And so it sounds like part of this is just understanding what the underlying drivers really are.

And I would imagine that applies also to things like culture.

If you look at what is my family culture, what are the assumptions, what are the things that I've

observed about how to move into finding relationships into finding love what have i been directly or explicitly told by parents by cousins by uncles by whatever community or congregation or you know gathering that you're a part of um that probably so much of that it affects the way that we think about the process of finding love but on an invisible level until we actively service it does that land

So really paying attention to what's happening inside of us is just a super important thing.

But here's my curiosity around that.

Somebody could be joining us for this conversation and thinking, okay, so I need to really understand my biology right now.

I need to understand my attachment patterns and what I've been exposed to.

I need to understand the cultural imprints that have been on me.

And dot, dot, dot.

I can't go out and find love or do the thing or even try until I actually do all this work.

I don't think that's what you're saying, right?

Yeah, I mean, that makes a lot of sense to me, which brings up another curiosity, right?