Jordan Crowder

And then when I lost my mom, I definitely just.

That was the beginning of the end.

At that point, I didn't really care about my future or anything else, and I went in this downward spiral.

I have a beautiful family, and looking back, I don't know what was in my head, but I walked away from my house.

I just completely threw all these things in my life that I cared about down the drain, and I went in this downward spiral, and I hit rock bottom.

Yeah.

you know, I was laying in my bed and for days and I was very, very sick.

I had pancreatitis.

I mean, you know, my pain was a 10 out of 10 for over a year.

And I was just, I was, I was drinking.

I mean, it was bad.

It was, it was very, very, very bad.

It wasn't just like I had a little drinking problem.

This was, this was severe.

And to the point where my entire body shut down, started having heart failure, liver failure.

You know, I, I couldn't get out of bed for days and days and days.

And at that point,

I had sanitized, I know this now looking back on it, I had sanitized my consciousness out of my body.

I had made my body such an inhospitable place that my consciousness couldn't really be in it anymore.

It was too much pain and trauma.