Jordan Klepper

What do you have? Is there anything else that the straight is affecting? Yes, fertilizer shortage. Back to you, John. Is there any message that you want to send about the fertilizer shortage? Oh, yeah, John, sure. Big one. If you think you're going to take our fertilizer, well, you're going to have to come and take it.

It does feel like you might not be as patriotic. I don't know what putting these things in our mouths proves, John. It proves that we have the resolve to do what we have to. We die for the cause. They had luxury foods and party balloons. This is literally processed shit. This train is disrupting baklava. Can I have baklava? Let me do baklava.

A slightly smaller group of, let's call them heritage Americans, took to the Reagan meeting room 1A on the second floor for their Yas Kings rally. If you want an object lesson on what a strong commander-in-chief looks like, take a look at the current resident of the Oval Office, President Donald J. Trump. What he's been able to do in one year is truly remarkable.

Happy holidays, everybody! Here it is, your moment has ended. Back on Venezuela, where Chris and I both had a chance to be there, I literally think they're going to put up a statue to President Trump lowering the price of gas in America. Forget that. When are they going to do the statue?

You're listening to Comedy Central.

The Supreme Leader said that the Strait of Hormuz, which is a critical shipping lane for nearly 20% of the world's crude oil, will remain closed.

Did the United States bomb a girls' elementary school?

On the X platform, Mark Levin posted, poor Megyn Kelly, an emotionally unhinged, lewd, and petulant wreck.

She's completely revealed and destroyed herself.

In response, Megyn Kelly posted, micropenis Mark thinks he has the monopoly on lewd.

He doesn't like it when women like me fight back because of his micropenis.

Mark is tough, strong, and brilliant.

In response, Megyn Kelly posted that Mark Levin went running to daddy about his micropenis.

$3.50 gasoline.

People are talking like this is the end of the world.

No, it's not.

I can handle the gas prices.

People can handle the gas prices.

He released multiple satirical music videos using his own security camera footage of the incident that included images, you're seeing some of that here, of these officers.

And look, I'm not saying that would be ideal, but you can't tell me it wouldn't be an improvement.