Jordan Klepper
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Look at these things.
She scored 20 points.
That's four more than Michael Jordan had in his rookie debut, which mathematically makes her stronger, faster, and better equipped to open a steakhouse than Michael Jordan.
I have a stat right here for you, okay?
Look at this.
Jordan Klepper didn't lose his virginity until he was 38, man.
You're the god of whatever that is.
Okay, here's your stat right here.
Eat shit, okay?
Moving on.
We are officially 72 days away from the Olympics in Paris, and the organizers are finding themselves in deep duty, literally.
Ooh, the River Seine is filled with E. coli?
That is gross.
These athletes are gonna pick up a disease at the Olympics.
It should be the old-fashioned way.
Unprotected sex in the Olympic Village.
Only way to do it.
Wrong as usual, Jordan.
I think the Olympics needs more E. coli, okay?
Because if you're a world-class athlete, then prove it by pole vaulting with active diarrhea.