Jordan Klepper

Technically, this was true.

Trump lived in Manhattan, he's always sleep deprived, and he's in dire need of therapy.

It doesn't get any more New York than that.

So surely New York would back one of their own.

18% in your home city?

Only New York's worst enemies poll that low.

The Boston Red Sox or King Kong or any New York City apartment on any TV show.

Monica Geller, get the out of here with your huge open floor plan, okay?

You shower in the kitchen like a real New Yorker.

So New York rejected Trump at the ballot box, and like any great leader, he said, nuh-uh, you're not dumping me, I'm dumping you.

Oh, poor Trump.

Even his fellow perverts turned on him.

So Donald Trump left New York for the safety of his survivalist bunker slash golf resort, but he left behind his dearest loved ones, by which I mean his buildings.

And New Yorkers promptly took the revenge, defacing anything left with his name on it.

Residents at three New York City luxury apartment buildings are getting rid of their Trump signs and branding.

That's right.

New York was redacting Trump's name from things before it was cool.

And you know how hard it is to take a name off a building in New York?

My kid still goes to Woody Allen Elementary.

It's very awkward cheering for them at soccer games.