Jordan Klepper

But Trump didn't always think New York was a New York 2.

Back in the day, he thought it was an LA 10.

There's a greater energy in New York.

There's a greater verve or a greater drive.

New York City is the hottest city in the world right now.

You know, I happen to be the biggest developer in the hottest city, so that's a very cool thing.

That's right.

Not that long ago, Trump wanted to bang New York right in the Holland Tunnel.

Sure, it wasn't a perfect relationship.

There was the time in the 80s when Trump tried to evict his rent-controlled tenants.

Then there was the time he wrote a letter to the mayor complaining that hot dog vendors were, I shit you not, splattering ketchup and mustard on the sidewalk.

To be fair, it was a travesty.

Sidewalks are a sacred space where New Yorkers go to the bathroom.

And things between Trump and New York almost came to a head in 2011 when Trump committed what can only be considered a New York City war crime.

Trump, what the fork is wrong with you?

This was the one time you should have been getting handsy.

But the true turning point was when Trump decided to run for president, and he was confident that New York City would back their hometown hero.

Don't forget, Hillary, she's not a New Yorker.

I'm a real New Yorker, folks.

You will never get more of a New Yorker if you want a president than you're getting with me.