Trump Makes Milk Whole Again, Europe Defends Greenland & MAGA Blasts Mamdani | Wagner Moura
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This is The Daily Show with your host, Jordan Clemens.
We got so much to talk about tonight. Trump cheats on Diet Coke, America adds Greenland to its cart, and New York is officially a communist hellscape. We did it! So, let's get into the headlines. I'll tell you what, there is so much going on in the world today. Domestic strife, international uprisings, Verizon went down for four hours yesterday, so I had to Google myself on my desktop like a loser. But with all the chaos in the world, I'm so glad we have a president who's laser-focused on the issues that matter most.
You see that beautiful milk? That's what we're here for. We're here discussing milk and whole milk and how good it is.
Yes, milk. Mr. President, thank you for shining a light on this important issue and also for having a big jug of milk on your desk as a visual aid in case people forget what milk is. I mean, how are these people intolerant of everything except lactose? But while Trump was focused on his domestic priorities, his underlings were taking care of the smaller issues. You know, like invading Europe. Tonight, as President Trump escalates his push to take over Greenland, top officials from Greenland and Denmark traveling to Washington to plead their case to the vice president and secretary of state. But they emerged saying the two sides have a, quote, fundamental disagreement.
It's clear that the president has this wish of conquering over Greenland.
Okay, first of all, why are they doing a press conference from the cocktail hour at a wedding? This is dark day for Greenland. Hold on to those crab cakes, sir! Yes, you can tell this meeting didn't go well. By the way, the entire delegation rushed to smoke immediately after. I mean, look. Look at him rushing. Look at this guy. He's literally sprinting to the car to grab a smoke and calm his nerves. One meeting with J.D. Vance and Marco Rubio will turn you into the Ben Affleck meme. So, these diplomatic talks might not work out, and Europe's not waiting to take action.
Denmark says it's expanding its military footprint in Greenland over President Trump's push to annex the Danish territory. You've got Germany, France, Sweden, and Norway all sending military personnel to the island this week for a joint exercise with Denmark.
This is wild. Germany, Sweden, France, Norway all sent soldiers because of us. And you know they're pissed. They're supposed to be on one of their 37 weeks of vacation right now. But, no, we have to go to war. Yesterday illustrates what a strange mixture this administration is. Some-some hybrid of warplanes and clown cars. Because everyone from resistance libs to his own vice president has compared Trump to Hitler. But I'm pretty sure Hitler never took a break from invading Poland to be like, today, I just want to talk about milk!
It does oot body good!
It never happened. I don't think it happens. But while the authoritarian experiment is playing out on an international level, right here in New York City, we're in the midst of our own political experiment. Two weeks ago, our capitalist utopia was invaded by a communist dreamboat, Zoran Mamdani. And our American patriots have been sounding the alarm on what's to come.
A foreign-born Muslim communist who hates the greatest nation on Earth and wants to change it is now in power.
Mamdani's bread lines coming to the city soon. It's going to be extreme. It's going to be anti-American.
As he plunges the city ever deeper into the mess his socialism helped create.
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