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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Makes Milk Whole Again, Europe Defends Greenland & MAGA Blasts Mamdani | Wagner Moura

16 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 23.895 Unknown

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23.875 - 34.57 Unknown

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37.194 - 38.696 Jordan Klepper

You're listening to Comedy Central.

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39.337 - 49.832 Unknown

From the most trusted journalist at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news.

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49.998 - 93.05 Jordan Klepper

This is The Daily Show with your host, Jordan Clemens. We got so much to talk about tonight. Trump cheats on Diet Coke, America adds Greenland to its cart, and New York is officially a communist hellscape. We did it! So, let's get into the headlines. I'll tell you what, there is so much going on in the world today.

93.25 - 111.536 Jordan Klepper

Domestic strife, international uprisings, Verizon went down for four hours yesterday, so I had to Google myself on my desktop like a loser. But with all the chaos in the world, I'm so glad we have a president who's laser-focused on the issues that matter most.

112.036 - 118.986 Grace Kuhlenschmidt

You see that beautiful milk? That's what we're here for. We're here discussing milk and whole milk and how good it is.

119.236 - 150.272 Jordan Klepper

Yes, milk. Mr. President, thank you for shining a light on this important issue and also for having a big jug of milk on your desk as a visual aid in case people forget what milk is. I mean, how are these people intolerant of everything except lactose? But while Trump was focused on his domestic priorities, his underlings were taking care of the smaller issues. You know, like invading Europe.

150.623 - 166.321 Jordan Klepper

Tonight, as President Trump escalates his push to take over Greenland, top officials from Greenland and Denmark traveling to Washington to plead their case to the vice president and secretary of state. But they emerged saying the two sides have a, quote, fundamental disagreement.

Chapter 2: What are Trump's latest antics with whole milk?

343.876 - 359.218 Jordan Klepper

Nothing. At best, New York will be floating down the curb next to a used condom. But we've been warned, and we didn't listen. So let's find out what's in store for us in our new segment on Zoran Mamdani's New York.

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378.539 - 403.763 Jordan Klepper

That's a graphics package, okay? It's been two weeks since Soran seized power in a brutal Democratic coup d'etat, or what some are calling an election. So what nightmare dystopian agenda has he pursued since taking office? On Tuesday, Mayor Mamdani grabbed a shovel and joined transportation department workers to fix a bump at the foot of the bike path before Delancey Street. Yeah, see?

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404.664 - 418.485 Jordan Klepper

That's... Oh, whoa, whoa. That's how it starts. Classic communism. First they level out the roads, then they level out the social classes. What else is he doing?

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418.505 - 425.474 Grace Kuhlenschmidt

Mayor Zora Mondami says he's making a $4 million commitment to bring modular, high-quality bathrooms like these to the five boroughs.

426.075 - 451.778 Jordan Klepper

Wow. Wow. Straight out of the well-known communist playbook, everyone poops. No, sir. In America, the free market decides who poops. I always say it's better to piss your pants as a free man than to use the toilet as a slave. Okay, Mamdani, what else are you gonna force down our freedom-loving throats?

451.842 - 462.115 Unknown

Mayor Mamdani spent this morning announcing plans for expanded free child care. No longer do New Yorkers have to make the choice between this city and their family.

462.135 - 487.703 Jordan Klepper

No, no, no. New Yorkers should be watching their own kids at all times. It's called personal responsibility. Isn't that right, Jordan Jr.? Jordan, Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. If anyone sees my child, feed him, please. Besides, if you're watching right-wing news, you know what a Mamdani child care scheme is going to look like.

488.084 - 498.359 Grace Kuhlenschmidt

Do you remember that cringy YouTube star for the toddler set and Palestinian advocate, Miss Rachel? Well, she's teaming up with your favorite, Mayor Comrade Mamdani.

Chapter 3: Why is Europe mobilizing over Trump's Greenland plans?

674.777 - 680.726 Grace Kuhlenschmidt

I mean, have they even released the monthly crime stats yet for the first two weeks that he's been in office? I mean, what's he hiding?

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680.986 - 689.759 Jordan Klepper

There are so many issues, but I feel like he's going in strong, but he wants to first, like, assemble a strong team. Affordability is definitely an issue in New York City.

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689.779 - 707.465 Grace Kuhlenschmidt

I mean, the Knicks and the Rangers have to be roommates above a train station. Why don't you think Mom Donnie's done anything about that yet? You got to give him a chance. You can't expect the world to turn around in two weeks. Where do you rank him as far as recent mayors in these first two weeks? As of today? Yeah. Number one. Number one.

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707.586 - 726.374 Grace Kuhlenschmidt

So two weeks is both nothing and he's the best mayor we've ever had. I don't disagree. Does it bother you that Mamdani hasn't plowed a single inch of snow so far? Well, we haven't had snow. I mean, is that an excuse, really? In the past two weeks, how long have you waited to get into a restaurant?

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726.414 - 726.975 Unknown

Thirty minutes.

726.995 - 729.659 Jordan Klepper

Did you ever think you'd see food lines like that in America?

730.66 - 731.922 Unknown

Oh.

731.942 - 750.573 Grace Kuhlenschmidt

Sadly, the public has already been brainwashed by the party. They're eager to conform to whatever Mamdani decrees, and he's bringing government into the most private place possible. So I heard the bathrooms he's installing in Midtown are gonna be mandatory. I mean, that is the nanny state. You know, telling you when to poop, when not to poop.

750.693 - 755.399 Jordan Klepper

I think it's an issue of, welcome to New York, we know you gotta poop.

Chapter 4: What political changes are happening in New York City under Mayor Mamdani?

1209.93 - 1233.55 Jordan Klepper

I should be saying Golden Globe winner, Wagner Moore, is what I should be saying. Thank you. That's a big prize. Best actor, best dramatic actor, the Golden Globes. What do you do to celebrate something like that? I drank. You drank? Yeah, I was drinking. There was a bunch of Brazilians there, right? My friends were there. We were around, so we played some samba, and then we celebrated.

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1233.57 - 1253.761 Jordan Klepper

What is the drink of choice? Is there a specific Brazilian drink of choice? So, yeah, man. So we were looking for some caipirinhas, but they were not quite... Good. So I went to, like, some vodka with sparkling water. Oh, classy. Classy, right? No, you keep it classy, right? Well, the movie is... It really is a remarkable film. I can't stop thinking about it. Thank you.

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1253.781 - 1274.445 Jordan Klepper

I really can't stop thinking. How would you describe this film to our audience? Ooh, okay. I think this is a film about a man who is sticking with his values when everything around him says the opposite of what he believes. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what's so resonant about it, right? It takes place in Brazil in 1977. There's a dictatorship. It was a heavy dictatorship.

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1274.485 - 1294.363 Jordan Klepper

It was a heavy dictatorship, right? From 64 to 85. I would say right off the bat, I didn't know much about this movie going into it. And there's a scene that kicks it off where you drive into a gas station. There's a dead body that is there that the police aren't going to deal with. They haven't dealt with for days. And the police come and they shake you down for money. For money.

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1294.343 - 1315.972 Jordan Klepper

And it just established this tension that felt very resonant right now in a time where we're all feeling a certain tension about the government and what have you. And this film was able to sort of sum up this feeling within seconds. I felt like that felt very fresh and new to me to see that represented on screen. Yeah, it's a scene that sort of establishes the logic of a dictatorship.

1316.593 - 1340.292 Jordan Klepper

I would even say the logic of Brazil, because the dictatorship ended in 85, but it didn't really end in 85. I mean, the echoes of the dictatorship are still there. When we elected a far right president in 2018, that man was sort of like a physical manifestation of those echoes. Yes. You talk about it.

1340.312 - 1358.303 Jordan Klepper

I mean, Bolsonaro, you've had a relationship with, at least in terms of how you guys... You dated for a while, right? I received this one of the... This film has been, you know, we've been having an amazing career since Cannes. It's been great. And one of the awards that we received, and I went up there to thank, I thanked him.

1359.304 - 1386.449 Jordan Klepper

I was like, thank you, because without him, we would never had done this film, because this film comes from the director, Cláudio Mendonça Filho, and I sharing our perplexity over what was going on in Brazil from 2018 to 2022, when this man, elected democratically, but he came to bring back the values of the dictatorship to Brazil in the 21st century.

1386.509 - 1412.75 Jordan Klepper

So we were perplexed, and we were calling each other to go, like, how can we... deal with that? How can we react to that? So this is how the film came about. I mean, that is so fascinating. Essentially, you're articulating a resurrection of a loss of values, or a resurrection of the values of dictatorship, and then having to articulate that through art. What do you connect that to?

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