Jordan Schlansky

Where are you using it? I use toilet paper on many areas of my body. What are you talking about? My nose, my ears. I use it to wipe. You use Kleenex for your nose. No, I use toilet paper for my nose. Sure, in a situation where I'm sick and there's an excess of mucus, I'll invest in a box of Kleenex.

Where are you using it? I use toilet paper on many areas of my body. What are you talking about? My nose, my ears. I use it to wipe. You use Kleenex for your nose. No, I use toilet paper for my nose. Sure, in a situation where I'm sick and there's an excess of mucus, I'll invest in a box of Kleenex.

Where are you using it? I use toilet paper on many areas of my body. What are you talking about? My nose, my ears. I use it to wipe. You use Kleenex for your nose. No, I use toilet paper for my nose. Sure, in a situation where I'm sick and there's an excess of mucus, I'll invest in a box of Kleenex.

But why have a product that's good for one use when I can have a multi-use product like toilet paper? I use toilet paper for cleaning up the bathroom sink of the errant spills so as not to mineralize the countertop. I use it to clean up the toilet rim should there be any urine. I use it to... Urine? Did you say urine? I use it on different body parts. It's really a jack of all trades.

But why have a product that's good for one use when I can have a multi-use product like toilet paper? I use toilet paper for cleaning up the bathroom sink of the errant spills so as not to mineralize the countertop. I use it to clean up the toilet rim should there be any urine. I use it to... Urine? Did you say urine? I use it on different body parts. It's really a jack of all trades.

But why have a product that's good for one use when I can have a multi-use product like toilet paper? I use toilet paper for cleaning up the bathroom sink of the errant spills so as not to mineralize the countertop. I use it to clean up the toilet rim should there be any urine. I use it to... Urine? Did you say urine? I use it on different body parts. It's really a jack of all trades.

Do you lactate? What I'm saying is anytime there's a discharge, to me, toilet paper is going to be my first choice. Toilet paper is a big part of my life. See, some people take Q-tips for their ears, which, by the way, is unsafe. And now you have a second dedicated product that's only for your ears. What about toilet paper?

Do you lactate? What I'm saying is anytime there's a discharge, to me, toilet paper is going to be my first choice. Toilet paper is a big part of my life. See, some people take Q-tips for their ears, which, by the way, is unsafe. And now you have a second dedicated product that's only for your ears. What about toilet paper?

Do you lactate? What I'm saying is anytime there's a discharge, to me, toilet paper is going to be my first choice. Toilet paper is a big part of my life. See, some people take Q-tips for their ears, which, by the way, is unsafe. And now you have a second dedicated product that's only for your ears. What about toilet paper?

What's the problem with using toilet paper to clean out your ears and your nose? Anyway, listen, I don't mean to go on too much about the secondary uses. Nevertheless, don't give me that deep breath. I understand that you're in a rush, but I have a lot to say about toilet paper.

What's the problem with using toilet paper to clean out your ears and your nose? Anyway, listen, I don't mean to go on too much about the secondary uses. Nevertheless, don't give me that deep breath. I understand that you're in a rush, but I have a lot to say about toilet paper.

What's the problem with using toilet paper to clean out your ears and your nose? Anyway, listen, I don't mean to go on too much about the secondary uses. Nevertheless, don't give me that deep breath. I understand that you're in a rush, but I have a lot to say about toilet paper.

Because you're talking... Get to the point, which is... This is the point. This is the point. I decided on Charmin toilet paper. They had a few varieties at the time because they liked to overcomplicate their product line. I went with the version with lotion, which turned out to be mineral oil. Okay. It's had a number of different... Now, the Charmin people, the Procter & Gamble...

Because you're talking... Get to the point, which is... This is the point. This is the point. I decided on Charmin toilet paper. They had a few varieties at the time because they liked to overcomplicate their product line. I went with the version with lotion, which turned out to be mineral oil. Okay. It's had a number of different... Now, the Charmin people, the Procter & Gamble...

Because you're talking... Get to the point, which is... This is the point. This is the point. I decided on Charmin toilet paper. They had a few varieties at the time because they liked to overcomplicate their product line. I went with the version with lotion, which turned out to be mineral oil. Okay. It's had a number of different... Now, the Charmin people, the Procter & Gamble...

People, they're listening to this right now. And those 30-something marketing people are saying, is this true? Did it used to be called Aloe and E? Because they only know it as Charmin Ultra Gentle, the common name. And there's one guy that probably knows that it was.

People, they're listening to this right now. And those 30-something marketing people are saying, is this true? Did it used to be called Aloe and E? Because they only know it as Charmin Ultra Gentle, the common name. And there's one guy that probably knows that it was.

People, they're listening to this right now. And those 30-something marketing people are saying, is this true? Did it used to be called Aloe and E? Because they only know it as Charmin Ultra Gentle, the common name. And there's one guy that probably knows that it was.

I buy my toilet paper in bulk because it never expires. I don't enjoy buying toilet paper. I don't want to buy toilet paper more often. I want to buy it less often.

I buy my toilet paper in bulk because it never expires. I don't enjoy buying toilet paper. I don't want to buy toilet paper more often. I want to buy it less often.