Josh Johnson

Like I just said...

Drug dealers, watch your back, because Trump is about to give you a nice massage.

I don't even know what's crazier, that President Trump is pardoning the president of Honduras for selling drugs, or that the president of Honduras was selling drugs.

People work their whole lives just to become president, so for you to get there and say to yourself, now I get to do my dream, is crazy.

At least Walter White had a teacher salary.

You're the president, and not only are you selling drugs, you're so bad at it, you get arrested in a whole different country.

But maybe I'm missing something about this pardon.

Maybe he's not some kingpin.

I mean, this is America, the country that locks people up for years just because they happen to have a little baggie of drugs.

How do we know this marginalized president deserved 45 years?

I'm sure whatever this guy did, it wasn't that bad.

I'm sorry, 400 tons of cocaine?

First of all, how do you even shove all that up your ass?

I didn't even know you could measure cocaine in tons.

It's like if someone told you they weigh 48 degrees Fahrenheit.

Like, the you talking about?

400 tons of cocaine, that sounds like all the cocaine in the world.

Give me another unit based on not all the cocaine in the world.

Doses?

Is that the term?