Josh Johnson

Hey, man, I'm gonna head to the bathroom and do a couple of recommended serving sizes.

You could tell this is someone who doesn't know about cocaine because you don't measure it in doses.

You measure it in half-written screenplays.

All right?

That's like saying, hey, do you mind if I get another dollop of meth?

But the point is...

But the point is, in the middle of an active war against drug traffickers, Donald Trump has pardoned a man who smuggled in enough cocaine to give every American resting Kash Patel face.

It's confusing to say the least, but if I know Donald Trump, he'll have a very coherent and well-thought-out explanation for this pardon.

You know you've been pardoning too many people when you're like, I'm sorry, which notorious drug lord are we talking about?

At least give me the first letter or we'll be here all night.

It's wild how Trump always talks to the media like he's in court.

He's like, I don't know who you're talking about.

I wasn't there.

I'm not even here.

But after they reminded Trump who this guy was, he did have some semblance of an explanation.

Clearly Trump is worried about a slippery slope here.

It's like that classic poem, first they came for the wildly corrupt presidents and I said nothing because that would be admissible in court.

But I'll be honest, I don't think Trump pardoned another president so that he could get pardoned later.

That's just too smart for Trump.

It's like seeing a monkey draw a cube.