Josh Johnson

I mean, a president hasn't invoked the Insurrection Act since the LA riots, which for Trump is actually a surprisingly recent precedent.

Usually he's invoking something that hasn't been used in 300 years, like the anti-witch-you-can-toss-a-bitch-off-a-cliff act of 1692.

But what's happening in Portland that requires Trump to send troops in?

Well, Trump held a big meeting yesterday to explain why.

Antifa, that's who you're declaring a domestic terrorist organization.

That's tricky because while there are people who identify as Antifa, it isn't really an official group.

They don't even have a website.

Like, my cousin's baby has its own website.

And that's an ugly baby.

Its voice changed in the womb.

You put your ear to his mom's stomach and you just heard, I'm coming.

So no website, no brick and mortar store.

So if you're sending troops to Portland, how sophisticated could Antifa be?

Wait, what?

And they're here?

She made Antifa feel like the Power Rangers of terrorism.

They got some of everybody.

They got MS-13, ISIS.

They got letters, numbers, Hezbollah, Hamas.

I don't know what TDA is, but they got some of that, too.