Josh Johnson

Uh, one question, though.

So Trump is posting the French president's text.

He is reading Marco Rubio's notes out loud.

The only secret he can hold on to is how he keeps those ankles so juicy.

But fine.

Trump, you want to take this argument to the streets?

That's cool.

Macron will take it to the streets, by which I mean the World Economic Forum in Davos, the nicest street in the world.

So, President Macron, time to deliver a speech that is focused and clear-eyed.

I'm sorry.

Those glasses are very distracting.

I can't tell if you're the president of France or the lead of CSI Paris.

Now, to be fair, he said he wore sunglasses because there's something wrong with his eye, which is disappointing to learn.

Like, why can't you just be cool for a cool reason?

That's like if you saw a bulge in someone's pants, and just as you were getting impressed, they were like, I see you've noticed my diaper.

But this shit is getting out of control.

Trump is threatening an invasion.

Le Top Gun is saying we won't be bullied.

Does Donald Trump have any way of getting Greenland without a war?

I've been joined America.