Josh Johnson

Doctors tell us it means there isn't adequate blood flow to the veins in the legs, which can cause swelling.

Oh, no.

Look at that ankle.

When I said something juicy, I didn't mean... A shoe should not give you a muffin top.

And I cannot stress how big of a deal this is, because they never admit that Trump has anything but impeccable health.

Usually, they bring out a doctor to be like, Donald Trump has big muscles and a girthy ass dick.

Medically speaking, he makes Hercules look like a pig with cancer.

Like, I'm not exaggerating.

His doctors once said that his blood pressure was astonishingly excellent.

That's not even how blood pressure works.

Blood pressure is numbers.

If you want to impress us, say 120 over 80.

They made it sound like Trump could control his blood pressure like the settings on a fancy hose.

His blood pressure is on mist, but he can turn it up to cone or jet if he so chooses.

But...

I get why they put this out.

One, it's a good distraction, and two, people have been starting to notice that Trump looks, medically speaking, like shit.

Well, problem solved.

No one's going to shake hands that look like that.

Even that hand right there, you could tell that the thumb is like, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.