Josh Laura

It's been interesting because I think you can sort of trace the evolution of the like sort of millennial, like guy with beard, guy with brown boots, guy with tattoos and the slouchy beanie who like loves craft beer.

Who like loves craft beer and is like,

I love poetry, but he has like a job.

And now it's sort of shifted into this weird place where it's like, I need you to support me, capital S, in various ways.

And I think that's what I'm trying to warn women about.

Because obviously this is happening in the gay world as well.

But I think what I'm really saying is that I'm trying to warn people against this idea of like allowing yourself to disappear in your relationship by completely centering someone else's needs over your own.

And I feel like, unfortunately, this happens a lot.

I see it...

With people who date men.

I think my queer and lesbian friends are marked safe from this phenomenon.

I think there, of course, are toxic people who are like, I need you to be completely there for me emotionally.

Yeah.

And I think if you want to like zoom out a little bit of the sociology of it all, I think that men don't have a lot of friends.

I think the data shows men don't have a lot of friends and in heterosexual partnership, men sort of outsource all of their emotional needs to their partner.

And so if you are dealing with a man who is like, I don't feel good about myself because society has changed so much and I feel like a loser or a flop or a failure.

And now I need all of your emotional support 100% of the time.

It's like,

okay, this is where the trap comes in, right?

This is where the manipulation comes in, right?