Josh van Kylenburg

Kind of like a high from anything of like chasing it, didn't quite get the high this time, I need a bigger one.

Does that make sense?

Well, to share some of my own vulnerability on this kind of thing, I found that like in the middle of the year this year, the numbers on the podcast were less than they'd been in a while.

And I found myself thinking like, oh, does that mean we're not good?

Or does that mean like we've lost it?

Or is it all over?

And like sort of catastrophizing going like,

Well, it was a good run, but maybe that's it.

And then trying to think, actually, no, a lot of people are still listening.

So I should be proud of that.

But why can't I just be sad?

It's like unless we're growing, I feel like it's a failure.

Like unless you're not moving.

How's that going?

They're not laughing.

They're all with the clipboard.

Do you think it's possible for, and I don't know what the answer is to this, but whether like the sort of death of the ego or like trying to minimize or forget about ego, I feel like it's happening to me the older I get.

And I wonder if it's a natural process of aging or it's something you can actually achieve when you're younger.

Because it was a – so you were sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yeah.