Jubal Fresh

Can I speak to an actual adult right now, please?

Yes.

Sorry about that.

I will not giggle if that offends you.

But I'm calling to inform you that your season ticket privileges for the Seattle Seahawks have been revoked.

Yes, they've been revoked.

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but we do frown on our season ticket holders selling their tickets, and especially when it's to a playoff game of such big proportions.

This is obviously a mistake.

I didn't sell anything, so I don't know if you've already revoked it, but I'm going to immediately need you to un-revote that.

Mm-hmm.

Nope, the tickets have been sold, so there's nothing I can do about that.

But we are tracking down... Wait, who?

I didn't sell anything.

Where are you getting this bulls**t?

Well, they've been sold, and we're tracking down every season ticket holder who has sold tickets to this Saturday's playoff game versus the San Francisco 49ers.

And if you sold your tickets, I'm sorry, you are no longer eligible to be a ticket holder with the team.

I didn't sell my tickets.

I go into that game.

I didn't sell my tickets.

The only person who could have...