Judd Apatow

Do I have to get so worked up?

I remember, you know, sometimes I would just be just ranting and raving about some creative fight that was happening.

Because my biggest fear is always someone being able to ruin something.

the TV show or the movie, that there's someone who has the power to mess it up.

That's because there's safety in doing a good job also.

And so that would be my irrational thing that I would project on all of it.

And I would come home kind of flipping out and Leslie would always say, melt out on the set.

had built out on the set meant that I was like getting crazy and overreacting and being too emotional about the problem.

And that helped me to tune into like, what am I doing?

And I realized I was just projecting all of my abandonment issues and parental issues and divorce issues onto relationships with executives.

And so when I didn't get my way or I didn't feel understood, I felt abandoned in a primal way that I had to realize, oh, this has nothing to do with this debate we're having about this joke.

But it was intense and in a lot of ways it didn't make me do good work, it made me work really hard.

But when you have kids, you have to learn how to shut that off before you walk in the door so you can be 100% present with them.

And you're not still running, how are we going to get this deal done or this creative fix done?

I remember not sleeping for a year

uh, you know, my daughter would the sec, I would rock her for like an hour.

And I, I, I would just pray she was in a deep sleep.

And the second her body touched the crib, I'd have to like do another half hour.

And I think that's why I had a herniated disc.

Cause I was just holding this weight hunched over for a year.