Julia Dhar

So then when I wake up, it's like, whoa, my sneakers are right there.

I don't have to look around for all of the clothes, shoes I need in order to go and exercise.

So I've created the right tactics for that to happen.

Where someone has a habit that they are seeking to change, part of it is saying, let's diagnose what's really going wrong here.

Have I got an environmental gap?

Do I have a relational gap or a set of relationships that are maybe taking me to places that I don't necessarily want to go?

Or do I just not have the right tactics?

I want to read more, but I never have a book handy.

I want to exercise more, but it seems like my clothes are always in the laundry.

These are things we can change relatively quickly.

I love this way of thinking about it.

When does it become a motivational problem?

And when does it become maybe something bigger than all those things that like environment, tactics, you know, people can't change?

Yeah.

One of the really dangerous things that can come from spending a lot of time thinking about your own psychology is assuming that anytime you don't live up to your own expectations, that's a problem of discipline or motivation, I think.

I'm just not disciplined enough.

I'm too lazy to be able to do the thing that I want to do.

And if instead you said to yourself, look, discipline and motivation, these are really finite.

Psychologists would say they're cognitively very expensive to maintain.

It takes a lot of effort.