Julia Dhar

It doesn't make sense because if you've set the new habit, surely it lasts –

Do you know what I'm saying?

I know exactly what you're saying, and it's such a good point because if we think about it for even a second, and this is why it's so important, I think, for you to do exactly what you do and help people really unpack the science behind this psychology.

You pause and think about it for a second and say, is that likely?

Is it likely that for everyone 90 days is the magic number?

Of course it's not likely.

Is it even a helpful guide?

Not really.

And instead, what we should be perhaps encouraging people to think about is the idea that instead of saying, I have changed,

What I'm basically always doing is changing.

Like I'm always evolving and hopefully moving towards something more positive.

It's very hard to run away from something negative for the rest of your life.

But if we can continue to say...

All I'm trying to do is make a set of better and better, kinder and kinder to myself and to others choices.

Then every single day I get the chance to make the choice again.

And hopefully that feels really positive rather than exhausting to people of, oh, I've got to get up and decide not to smoke again.

I've got to get up and go out and decide how I'm going to show up.

in this night, but instead say, let's take it one step at a time.

We're always in the process of becoming who we are.

I actually think that is such a smart way of thinking about it, which is stop thinking about changing habits as deprivation, but instead as addition.