Julia Shaw

Why wouldn't we change in this way?

Giving ourselves also the ability to reappraise where we're at with our own sexuality, our own desires, our own relationship status, all these things is important to keep us happy and healthy and to not run into issues that we know are faced by a lot of homosexual but also bisexual people.

Research has found that bisexual people are more likely to self-harm, they're more likely to be the victims of sexual violence, more likely to be isolated, more likely to be stalked.

There's lots of different aspects of being bi that are negative, and the reason for that is mostly because bi people are least likely to be plugged into the community.

So when you're going through stuff like this and you feel different and you're constantly being asked about your sexuality, if you're open about it or you're hiding it, that's also troubling.

You're going to have these negative consequences, especially if you don't feel like the queer community is really a place for you.

So that's where also finding your people really matters.

So the reason I included kinks

kinks in evil and sexual conversations in general is because it is so often thrown into the same conversation.

So if someone comes to me and says, Julia, I want you to help me explain why this person killed this other person.

And they'll often say,

did you know that he or she was also into, insert kink here, or insert non-traditional relationship structure here, or insert whatever.

And I respond to that by going, okay, so?

And I think people use these words like, oh, he was really into BDSM and think that that's going to have this really important impact on me.

Or, oh, they were swingers.

And so, and again, I go,

Yeah, that's, you know, almost like, and in other news, they were swingers.

It's like, that is not related to this crime at all, unless, you know, one of the partners was killed.

But people see this as a defective character.

And kink is very much seen as a defective character in many circles, especially in broader society.