Julie Menanno

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

I call them negative cycles where, you know, people aren't feeling, they're interacting, right?

And they're not feeling heard, seen, understood, validated, connected with, appreciated, all these attachment needs.

And they don't know how to deal with the pain of those needs being unmet.

And they're not even aware of the pain.

They just know they're getting escalated in the argument.

And then they start behaving in ways that just keep unmeeting each other's attachment needs.

And then everything just falls apart.

It's like we have this, you know, the anxious attached partner who's typically going to be the one bringing up the problems because their anxiety is driving them to close the distance in the relationship.

And then we have the avoidant attached partner who's

who their way of keeping things good is don't rock the boat.

Keep things stable.

Don't make things worse than they already are.

Yeah, exactly.

And so then we have the anxious partner coming in hot with, you know, you do this, you never do that.

You always, you never, because they have good reasons to be doing that.

They're upset.

Their needs aren't being met.

And then the avoidant partner's over here going, whoa, I don't know how to respond to that.