Julius Graham

So for a long time in my life, I had been hiding and felt invisible.

And so my grandmother, I got a call that she wasn't going to make it.

My grandmother raised me from a baby, and I got the call that she wasn't going to make it.

And I told myself in my diseased mind, in my biology mind, my addict mind,

that I just need to lose five pounds before I go to see her before she passes away.

And how heavy were you in that moment?

I was probably in the 300s.

And I had so much shame and so much self-torture and just so I didn't want to go home.

I didn't want anybody to see me.

I was embarrassed.

I grew up with all the weight.

the weight issues and I felt like I would be teased and they would still say, look at him, he's still not enough, enough.

And so anyway, I said, let me book my flight.

So I booked the flight.

I said, I'm gonna need five days because I can lose a pound a day.

And as if five pounds mattered when you weigh 300 pounds, nobody would have cared.

So the night before I left, I got a call

And the call.

You know the call?

The call was your grandmother.