Karah

try his hardest and I said it just never happened you know it's not your fault it's not my fault but it's just something that we need to let go it's just something that we need to let go I'm sorry I said but you you know you did more harm than you did good to me and me and the boys my whole life and I just wished him well I just wished him well I told him that I loved him and

And did I mean that at that moment?

I don't think so.

And I think that that's so fucked up for me to say, but it's just something that I don't know if I did.

Sometimes we say I love you out of habit.

And I think that's not okay.

I don't think we need to just freely throw that around.

Nonetheless, so to speak, I guess, if that makes any sense at all.

So then this is when I guess I start getting introduced to the guilt.

So my dad makes it out of the surgery.

Right?

And I'm like, well, now what?

I done cussed you out when you were dying on the table.

I've already, you know, dismissed this whole relationship.

What do I... I don't know.

I don't know what more I can do.

So...

And I had, he had tried to talk to me so much after he got out, after he made that surgery.

He tried and he tried and he tried.

He was getting everybody he knew that knew me to talk to me.