Karen Dempsey

So I love to feel and read what is going on in the room.

Because the pattern that will follow is when you go in first and everybody's arriving, it's really jingle jangle.

And very often you'll have one spouse in the room while the other is off getting ready and they will have everybody coming up and saying, oh, are they going to show up?

Are you nervous?

And I really feel for them because I think all that's doing is actually escalating any nerves that are there.

Or else they're trying to be super cool and unfazed.

And I'll often say to that person, do you want to just take a breather and step outside or, you know, do what you need to do to keep yourself nice and level.

Then you have the part where everybody's taking their seats and people are seeing one another.

And again, it's all that fizziness.

The usual format is that one party is in and then the other party walks up the aisle or is escorted.

But couples can do it however they like.

So when we get to that point, I will step outside and greet whoever is coming in as well, because very often they too are full of all the preparations and this is about to happen and that feeling of overwhelm.

So to me, it's very much about taking a deep breath, feel your feet.

You're here.

Nothing can go wrong.

We're going to do this.

And I say to both of them as well, you don't have to remember anything.

I'll guide you the whole way through.

So you just breathe, be present with one another and enjoy.

calm is a superpower well it has to be your superpower I take it from what you're saying because everybody else is you know 10 feet off the ground with nerves and excitement and all of the rest so you have to be calm absolutely and even if something has happened to throw me I have to be calm and there's no point in having a celebrant who's full of the oh stage management and direct that and all that