Karen Kilgariff

Spoiler alert before our burps, for sure.

Spoiler alert before our burps, for sure.

Right. It's also like, OK, but did that air like five weeks ago? Like what's the cutoff? It's not on us anymore.

Right. It's also like, OK, but did that air like five weeks ago? Like what's the cutoff? It's not on us anymore.

We're spoiling a rear window for you. I mean, I don't think.

We're spoiling a rear window for you. I mean, I don't think.

Hello! And welcome to my favorite murder.

Hello! And welcome to my favorite murder.

The Mimi-sode, because Mimi's on my lap right now.

The Mimi-sode, because Mimi's on my lap right now.

Here, let me get her on camera for you so you can have something nice to look at rather than my... Something wonderful. Fucking face. Okay.

Here, let me get her on camera for you so you can have something nice to look at rather than my... Something wonderful. Fucking face. Okay.

So pretty. Hi, lady. You want to go first? Sure. Okay. The title is I'm not going to read the subject line, which I can't believe more people haven't done. That is fucking hilarious. Full credit to this person. Yes. And then it says in parentheses, but if I did, it would be, and then it tells the whole story and it's great.

So pretty. Hi, lady. You want to go first? Sure. Okay. The title is I'm not going to read the subject line, which I can't believe more people haven't done. That is fucking hilarious. Full credit to this person. Yes. And then it says in parentheses, but if I did, it would be, and then it tells the whole story and it's great.

And then it just starts. I'll be honest. The main reason it has taken me so long to write this in is because I absolutely panic at the thought of not having a good opening line. So I'll let you use your imagination and pretend that this one was particularly fantastic. Sigh. Here we go. I'll apologize in advance for being incredibly verbose. Yet another reason I have procrastinated sending this.

And then it just starts. I'll be honest. The main reason it has taken me so long to write this in is because I absolutely panic at the thought of not having a good opening line. So I'll let you use your imagination and pretend that this one was particularly fantastic. Sigh. Here we go. I'll apologize in advance for being incredibly verbose. Yet another reason I have procrastinated sending this.

Someone's been using the thesaurus. Someone got their $10 word out. In 1984, my parents moved to a huge house about two blocks from the largest local high school central. My mom was nine months pregnant with my sister, but being the badass woman she was, she still helped to move all the boxes and furniture, despite it being her due date. She went into labor four days later.

Someone's been using the thesaurus. Someone got their $10 word out. In 1984, my parents moved to a huge house about two blocks from the largest local high school central. My mom was nine months pregnant with my sister, but being the badass woman she was, she still helped to move all the boxes and furniture, despite it being her due date. She went into labor four days later.

This isn't actually relevant to the story referenced in the subject line, but my mom is going to sound pretty neglectful in a minute. So I wanted to make sure and paint her as the strong, amazing woman she is before throwing her entirely under the bus. Get her under there. It says right about now. This person should be a writer. Okay.

This isn't actually relevant to the story referenced in the subject line, but my mom is going to sound pretty neglectful in a minute. So I wanted to make sure and paint her as the strong, amazing woman she is before throwing her entirely under the bus. Get her under there. It says right about now. This person should be a writer. Okay.