Kate Murphy

And that's what makes you feel tired.

Yes, that is the spatial dimension of communication.

And that was actually developed, this idea is developed back in the 1960s by an anthropologist.

But it's essentially, it's sort of like the volume control on your ability to synchronize with another person, because the closer you are to another person, the more of these signals you're going to pick up from the other person.

And the farther you get away, the signal starts to diminish, sort of like Wi-Fi.

But sometimes if someone's too close to you, and I think we've all had that experience where somebody stands too close to you at a party, and that's too much signaling.

It's sort of like the person's too loud.

You're getting too many of those signals from them, and so you step back.

And we do this all the time to encourage or discourage our interactions with other people.

And there's these different signals.

space circles that you can think about there's intimate space personal space and social space and public space where we kind of it's sort of again like our volume control where we're turning it way loud if we want to be in the intimate space which is like no space at all like if you're you know kissing the other person to 1.5 and that personal space is more like 1.5 to about four feet

So if you think about it, you can make someone uncomfortable by getting too much in their space and giving them too loud a signal.

And then you can also keep yourself from really connecting with them because you're too far away.

A lot of interior designers now are paying attention to proxemics and really designing spaces, whether they're public spaces or personal spaces where people can gather and have their personal space, but keep other people that they don't know in that social space that's farther away.

Yes, exactly.

And it's amazing, you know, once you learn about it, it's amazing how many stores or coffee shops or restaurants or fitness facilities are not paying attention to proxemics.

And people don't know why the space makes them uncomfortable.

They just don't go.

And that's why they don't survive.

You can be at a restaurant where the tables are really too far apart.