Kate Murphy

And you don't get that vibe.

You don't get that feeling of being in a social space.

Or they can be too close together and you feel like you're really crowded and so you won't go back.

So both of them, there's a sweet spot that we all want.

And so, yeah, but it all has to do with this ability to sync up with another person and whether the signal is too strong or too faint.

Okay.

There is this concept known as emotional aperture, and people who have really excellent emotional aperture are people who are really good at reading the room.

The people who can come in and get a sense of, okay, this is going well, whether it's a performance or a speech, can come in.

They don't have to talk to anyone.

They don't even have to look at particular faces.

They can just read the energy in the room.

And people who are really good at that

are people who become really terrific, let's say, evangelical pastors, politicians, generals, and armies who are trying to rally the troops.

They're the people that really can read that by.

I use the example of auctioneers in the book.

But there's also, again, reading people versus reading the room.

And there's a lot of research that shows that people who are really good at one are not so good at the other.

But there are people who, kind of like trial lawyers, for example, who are really good at reading the room, how the argument's going over, but also looking at individual jurors and really building a connection or a synchrony with them.

So it's sort of syncing with the energy in the room versus syncing to the individual.

There is some research about how to improve your emotional aperture, being able to read a room better.