Katherine Morgan Schafler

If you take perfect back to its Latin root, you get per facere, completely done. So when we describe something as perfect, we're not saying it's flawless. We're saying that's completely whole. I don't need to add anything to that to make it better, right?

If you take perfect back to its Latin root, you get per facere, completely done. So when we describe something as perfect, we're not saying it's flawless. We're saying that's completely whole. I don't need to add anything to that to make it better, right?

If you take perfect back to its Latin root, you get per facere, completely done. So when we describe something as perfect, we're not saying it's flawless. We're saying that's completely whole. I don't need to add anything to that to make it better, right?

And so one of the discoveries that I've made in my work is that perfectionists aren't actually seeking flawlessness, they're seeking wholeness, that sense that like, this is I wouldn't want to change this thing at all. So if you think of like, when we say someone's a perfect stranger, we're not saying like, oh, she was a flawless stranger. We're saying she's a complete stranger to me.

And so one of the discoveries that I've made in my work is that perfectionists aren't actually seeking flawlessness, they're seeking wholeness, that sense that like, this is I wouldn't want to change this thing at all. So if you think of like, when we say someone's a perfect stranger, we're not saying like, oh, she was a flawless stranger. We're saying she's a complete stranger to me.

And so one of the discoveries that I've made in my work is that perfectionists aren't actually seeking flawlessness, they're seeking wholeness, that sense that like, this is I wouldn't want to change this thing at all. So if you think of like, when we say someone's a perfect stranger, we're not saying like, oh, she was a flawless stranger. We're saying she's a complete stranger to me.

And when you think of someone's laugh that you love, you know, that laugh is perfect. Nobody in the history of earth is like, oh, if they just rolled their giggle a little more at the end, that laugh would be perfect. right? You're like, that's perfect.

And when you think of someone's laugh that you love, you know, that laugh is perfect. Nobody in the history of earth is like, oh, if they just rolled their giggle a little more at the end, that laugh would be perfect. right? You're like, that's perfect.

And when you think of someone's laugh that you love, you know, that laugh is perfect. Nobody in the history of earth is like, oh, if they just rolled their giggle a little more at the end, that laugh would be perfect. right? You're like, that's perfect.

And so understanding that when you're communicating with someone and in a conversation with someone, flawlessness has nothing to do with it and is often actually a block to connection. What the other person is looking for is intimacy. And the easiest definition I've ever heard of intimacy is like into me see. Intimacy, from my view, is just when someone sees something real about you,

And so understanding that when you're communicating with someone and in a conversation with someone, flawlessness has nothing to do with it and is often actually a block to connection. What the other person is looking for is intimacy. And the easiest definition I've ever heard of intimacy is like into me see. Intimacy, from my view, is just when someone sees something real about you,

And so understanding that when you're communicating with someone and in a conversation with someone, flawlessness has nothing to do with it and is often actually a block to connection. What the other person is looking for is intimacy. And the easiest definition I've ever heard of intimacy is like into me see. Intimacy, from my view, is just when someone sees something real about you,

and or you see something real about them. So if I were to somehow like lift up my computer and show you my bedside table right now, that would be a very intimate gesture because the things that I have on my bedside table are real, right? It's not staged. It's intimate.

and or you see something real about them. So if I were to somehow like lift up my computer and show you my bedside table right now, that would be a very intimate gesture because the things that I have on my bedside table are real, right? It's not staged. It's intimate.

and or you see something real about them. So if I were to somehow like lift up my computer and show you my bedside table right now, that would be a very intimate gesture because the things that I have on my bedside table are real, right? It's not staged. It's intimate.

And I think when thinking about conversations and connection, allowing there to be a little bit of intimacy as you feel comfortable, if the person is safe and, you know, all of that, all of that other stuff is in place is a better way to think about how to have a successful quote unquote conversation than like, how do I articulate myself perfectly? You know?

And I think when thinking about conversations and connection, allowing there to be a little bit of intimacy as you feel comfortable, if the person is safe and, you know, all of that, all of that other stuff is in place is a better way to think about how to have a successful quote unquote conversation than like, how do I articulate myself perfectly? You know?

And I think when thinking about conversations and connection, allowing there to be a little bit of intimacy as you feel comfortable, if the person is safe and, you know, all of that, all of that other stuff is in place is a better way to think about how to have a successful quote unquote conversation than like, how do I articulate myself perfectly? You know?

I love that. Yeah, exactly. Well said.

I love that. Yeah, exactly. Well said.