Katia

But they are worried that they don't like them as much.

Do you know what I mean?

They're doing sort of their thinking for them, but they don't want to seem too needy.

And what they need to do is just relax into themselves.

They've gone into, it feels like panic mode.

And it's...

You too, and I like to feel in some way I have got much better.

I'm not quite at the zen level.

No, but I feel like... Speak to our partners and talk about how... I think what I hear from you is you're not reactive.

But I think in a brand new relationship, it's easy to do that when you're married with someone, you've got kids with someone, you're in a long-term relationship, you're both in love.

Yeah.

These hang-ups, they're like relationship hangovers from parents, from loved ones, where you could be in a relationship for a very long time and you've developed a strategy to cope with a behaviour, fear around noise dropping or being told off about something or somebody being irrationally angry with you or not being helped at all.

How interesting those...

those hangovers can be when you come into a new relationship and someone is quite helpful yeah and you keep going no no don't don't help me and it's like and that but i'm just trying to do something i want to help you it's like something nice but you're so not used to being helped at all that's why those like um i think one of your questions is why do those big moments yes i can't remember a glimmer isn't a big moment yeah that's why because like

But basically what we're saying is that it only takes you to see the glimmer once, but then you will see it everywhere.

Well, that was a big one.

It changes an outlook.

It changes your outlook.

I'm not saying... But you have to feel it.

Yes, I mean, I think in order for you to see it in more places, you won't see it in more places unless you felt it.