Katie

And I met my partner and then it was good for a couple of years and then he ended up ultimately put on a bit of extra weight.

And I think also because I was like, how far can I push this?

How far can I make myself undesirable and you'll still love me?

And it got to that point where he didn't want to be with me anymore because of the way I looked and it just reaffirmed

The thing that I thought is that I'll make myself safe, I'll make myself undesirable and I'll be safer.

I did think that for a really long time.

Trauma is not a linear healing.

Like it is just stamped in your subconscious.

So when something happens in your life or if you have an argument or a breakup or a rejection on national TV, like it –

shocks you it's not like oh that was so long ago get over it or oh you you've said you've healed and now you're getting triggered like have you actually healed and but it's just like time collapses and it doesn't matter how long ago it was it's like fresh like it was like all those wounds are just you go right back so

For me, the timeframe between pulling myself back out of that mindset is getting shorter and shorter because sometimes I'd stay in it for months.

If I got rejected by a guy again or he ghosted again,

And I went on a bad date and he looked me up and down and was swiping on Tinder.

I was like, oh, that would take me months to recover from.

And I would be like, oh, no, I'm not doing it, I'm not doing it.

But yeah, it doesn't matter.

For trauma, time is irrelevant.

Yeah.

And only in the last couple of years...

Actually, like I poured myself into work and setting up a business and gave everything to it because I'm like, I'm not going to fail at everything in life.