Kelly

I started thinking, like, oh, my gosh.

Right.

Wait.

Is God real?

Like...

we're all actually just gonna die one day and that is so crazy and like we're all just living on a planet

Like that's just floating around in the sky.

And you start driving yourself crazy.

I was driving myself crazy.

And then I had a panic attack right then and there.

And I couldn't breathe.

I just like fell to the floor and nobody saw me.

I was just alone in my room having a panic attack.

And then I was like, what in the world is that?

But now I look back and I think that's my first panic attack.

And then after that, I started to replace praying in my head.

to god because i don't think i necessarily believed anymore at that point so i had to replace it with something else in my head which came along my ocd so so this is kind of crazy but because i still do it to this day

Probably even as we're speaking, I like subconsciously do this, but I like spell all the words I'm hearing in my head, but I have to put like good words on the right side of my brain and like bad words on the left side of my brain.

It won't.

It makes sense to anybody who doesn't go through this, but I'm just spelling words out all the time.