Kelsey McKinney
speaker
607 appearances
6 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Feb 2025
Kelsey McKinney’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
What's your instinct here? Do you think it's just dramatic?
She certainly is. I think that's a great read. Everyone in the family is like, Whatever. Right. Like this is becoming a whole thing. The funeral needs to continue. So they like go to the funeral guy. They're like, so sorry. Our bad. We were confused. We accept whatever the date the government has. Here's this document they have. Like, is this a lie? Yes. Whatever.
He's like, great. Things are being sorted. Like, sure, the date on her headstone is going to be wrong, but whatever. They're like, it's probably what Granddad Julia would have wanted anyway.
In the lead up to the funeral, TikTok releases a new filter.
Yeah. OK. And that filter, this is going to connect. I promise that filter is the filter that makes you look old. Do you remember this?
Exactly. Yeah. Allegra puts this filter on her like beautiful 30 something face and it's like a jump scare. Right. And she's like, oh, my God. OK, I need more retinol. I need sunscreen. I got to take care of myself. But she's also like, wait a second. I look exactly like Granddad Julia.
Genetics can be weird, right? Like I look like my dad's sister.
For example, that's weird. So she has this picture of herself that looks exactly like Granddad Julia. She takes a screenshot and she sends it to the family chat. And everyone's like, oh, my God, that's crazy. You look just like her. That's so cute.
It's like, oh, adorable. And then suddenly Allegra is like looking around at everyone in her immediate family. And she's like, we all kind of look like Grand Aunt Julia. Like we all have her eyebrows and her hair and we love to be dramatic. Do you have any thoughts on this? You think she's reaching?
Allegra is like ready to pull out the like red string.
Like she's ready. She's on a mission. She's like.
OK. She's like, OK, my whole life is a lie. Right. Ninety three or ninety nine. And then she's like, wait a second. The legend.
Do you remember the legend of the psychic that I told you up top?
Bingo. Okay. Wow. Great memory. Incredible. Allegra is like thinking about this legend. And she is like, the part of it that just like never made sense to me is like why he moved the wedding. She's like, why would that wedding need to be moved to, She's like, sure, the mom saw a psychic and the psychic told her to. But, like, it's a baby. Like, what does that matter? You're a mother of 10.
Like, it's not scandalous to be pregnant with your 11th child at your son's wedding, like, even if you're older. And then she's like, wait a second. She's like, she was, like, so much older when she had Grandpa Enzo. Like, her 10th kid was born a full eight years before Allegra's grandfather was.
And suddenly she's like, how old was Aunt Julia when grandpa was born?
Allegra is like, I'm going straight to my mom. Right. She goes straight to her mom. She's like, how old was Aunt Julia when grandpa was born? And her mom is like, ha ha ha. Who's asking? Because famously she has two ages. And Allegra is like, mom, not now. Like, how old was she? And her mom is like, well, 20. She was 20 years old. Why? And Allegra's like, and she wasn't married, right?
And her mom is like, yeah, she was never married. And Allegra's like, okay, hear me out. What if Aunt Julia got pregnant out of wedlock at 20 years old and had a secret pregnancy and a secret baby, and that secret baby was Miracle Baby Enzo, your father?
The mom is like, what? Like, where is this coming from? But Allegra is like on a roll, right? She's like, and great-grandma matriarch lied to cover for her so that her reputation wouldn't be ruined.
Now the two of them are cooking. The mom's like, oh, my God. The my whole life is a lie thing. It all makes sense, right? She's like, my aunt always doted on me more than my other cousins. Yeah. She's like, this is nuts. She's reeling. Allegra's like, yeah, I was always closer to Aunt Julia than all my other cousins. Like, what does it mean?
Showing 421–440 of 607 · page 22 of 31
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