Kelsey McKinney

Jane is also full of spite because Jane is like, you know what? I offered to water it. And Muffy explicitly told me, no, Celeste has got it. And so she watches out her window as the cilantro withers and the mint burns and the thyme becomes crunchy and the rosemary gets all fried and everything burns. Christ. It's awful. You're not intervening at any point in this.

Jane is also full of spite because Jane is like, you know what? I offered to water it. And Muffy explicitly told me, no, Celeste has got it. And so she watches out her window as the cilantro withers and the mint burns and the thyme becomes crunchy and the rosemary gets all fried and everything burns. Christ. It's awful. You're not intervening at any point in this.

You're just going to watch the herb garden turn to dust.

You're just going to watch the herb garden turn to dust.

Yeah, I think that's a really good idea, except that Jane can't talk to Celeste because if she tries to talk to her at all, she just talks about the fig again. So there's like no point. And Jane has really had it up to here with the fig. So yeah, when I first heard this story, I was like, of course you go water the herb garden. But the more I think about it, the more I'm like, no, I'm so petty.

Yeah, I think that's a really good idea, except that Jane can't talk to Celeste because if she tries to talk to her at all, she just talks about the fig again. So there's like no point. And Jane has really had it up to here with the fig. So yeah, when I first heard this story, I was like, of course you go water the herb garden. But the more I think about it, the more I'm like, no, I'm so petty.

And like, if I don't like the friend that's supposed to water it, like it's just an herb garden.

And like, if I don't like the friend that's supposed to water it, like it's just an herb garden.

Jane waits. She does not water the garden. It all dies. At the end of two weeks, Muffy comes home and Jane is like pettily like sitting by the window because she is like, Muffy's going to freak, right? She's like, there's going to be some kind of blow up. They're going to yell like they'll never be friends again. And then Muffy will be my friend. Delicious.

Jane waits. She does not water the garden. It all dies. At the end of two weeks, Muffy comes home and Jane is like pettily like sitting by the window because she is like, Muffy's going to freak, right? She's like, there's going to be some kind of blow up. They're going to yell like they'll never be friends again. And then Muffy will be my friend. Delicious.

But instead, Muffy just like sees the herb garden and then goes inside. Okay. And then like a few days later, Jane sees the hunky boyfriend out there just like pulling out all the dead herbs.

But instead, Muffy just like sees the herb garden and then goes inside. Okay. And then like a few days later, Jane sees the hunky boyfriend out there just like pulling out all the dead herbs.

So she's like, she's like sad. Jane's like, this is very sad. The herbs are all dead. She's like, but also Celeste has not gone over to Muffy's house at all since Muffy got back. So she's like, maybe, maybe my evil plan is working. Yes. So perhaps some curt text messages were exchanged. What do you imagine was exchanged?

So she's like, she's like sad. Jane's like, this is very sad. The herbs are all dead. She's like, but also Celeste has not gone over to Muffy's house at all since Muffy got back. So she's like, maybe, maybe my evil plan is working. Yes. So perhaps some curt text messages were exchanged. What do you imagine was exchanged?

I love that. I imagine that this is what happened. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jane has no idea. She doesn't know what's happening via text message. And she doesn't really see either of them out the next few days. So she's like, I don't know what's going on. My neighbors are maybe fighting. Hopefully they're never going to be friends again. But like, I don't know.

I love that. I imagine that this is what happened. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jane has no idea. She doesn't know what's happening via text message. And she doesn't really see either of them out the next few days. So she's like, I don't know what's going on. My neighbors are maybe fighting. Hopefully they're never going to be friends again. But like, I don't know.

She goes for her walk and she sees Celeste. You hate Celeste famously, but you want to know what's going on with Muffy. Do you like stop and try to talk to her? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, fake as shit. Yeah, 100%.

She goes for her walk and she sees Celeste. You hate Celeste famously, but you want to know what's going on with Muffy. Do you like stop and try to talk to her? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, fake as shit. Yeah, 100%.

Damn.

Damn.