Konstantin Kisin

Yeah, I think what we're teaching young people now is kind of impossible thing, which is that you can self-actualize alone.

You can do it all alone.

So you have young people saying they feel all this pressure to settle down and get married.

And I think what they're really...

talking about is you have pressure to cram in all your self-actualization before you meet someone or before you take on a responsibility so it's like you have to be you have to love yourself you have to be healed you have to be um whole you have to be able to do life alone you have to be independent

then when you've ticked all of that off, you can meet someone.

And I think it's especially cruel for young women because we want to depend on someone and we want someone to take care of us when we're struggling.

And I think we're telling young people now, young women, if you struggle with being independent, if you struggle with being insecure or jealous or unsure of what to do,

you're not ready for a relationship or you're not quite there yet.

There's like this way of being that you need to achieve before you let someone in.

Not realizing that, you know, we find ourselves often in other people and actually a lot of happiness comes from caring for other people.

And then we're telling a generation to...

arrange their lives so almost nothing is ever asked of them and then and then spending all that time introspecting and doing the work and figuring themselves out whereas really you can figure yourself out with another person and it's often easier a lot easier a lot easier that's certainly been my experience one of the things you touch on there you're you're very wise to stay away from the politics of all of this but it's kind of hard

Yeah, I think...

That is a real cruelty that we've told young people, that it's... I think young women have a real fear of dependence because we've told them so much.

That's a really dangerous place to be.

And again, like I said at the beginning, we keep getting told that the biggest danger and the biggest problem is too much dependence on men.

So they're very resistant to any conversation about that.

But humans need to depend on people, and especially...

say you're a woman like me, you're very ruminative and introspective.