Kristen

I have five pages of a medical history on a 83-year-old man.

I start reading and I get to the final page and it's for an object near the cecum all the way up there.

It's been a long time, but I think there's like five levels to your intestines.

Your first one is your sigmoid.

And then it kind of goes around and around and around.

And your cecum is pretty close to your appendix.

Because I'm an older student, my brain doesn't go to, oh, this is something he swallowed.

I automatically go, this is sexual.

I get that a nurse has to deal with all this stuff.

But as a student, I'm like, no, no, no.

I knew it wasn't a joke, but I'm like, are they trying to fuck with us?

So I go to the nursing precept and she doesn't know me.

She looks at my name tag and she's like, Kristen, are you kidding me?

It's your first time ever.

And I was like, oh, okay.

And I'm panicking because I'm like trying to do this for my parents.

Oh, no.

So I go into the room for the very first time.

He's laying down again, 83 years old.

He looks completely healthy, but he's half asleep and he doesn't want me in the room.