Kyle MacDonald

And sort of my rule of thumb with adolescents, and I think it'll probably be the same as they move into their 20s, is we want to be slightly on the side of annoying.

So what I mean by is that our kids should be telling us to go away rather than not.

Because if they're telling us to go away, it means that we're actually providing slightly more than they need and they get to be in charge of how much they take.

So, you know, the daily text or the, you know, the phone call that's like, oh, you're calling again, mum.

It's like, well, you're probably about right if that's the response that you're getting.

Such a complicated question, isn't it?

Because the thing that's really confusing, I think, with that research is that when you look, at least as I understand it, correct me if I've got this wrong or if it's been updated, but it's also true that Gen Z and Gen Alpha are smoking less, they're using drugs less, they're drinking less and starting drinking at a later age, their teenage pregnancies are down, initiating sexual relationships is later.

So it's kind of like they're doing all the right things.

Well that's a really useful question and I think one of the questions that naturally comes out of that which can easily skew into all sorts of unhelpful places is are kids missing the opportunities to build resilience along the way?

You know, it's not that our kids are too sheltered these days because I think that lands the blame on them.

But is one of the outcomes of a digital world and a world that is actually largely safe, meaning that they're not getting the scrapes and bumps and bruises that builds that resilience?

I mean, I don't know, but it's interesting to think about.

And I think it's interesting to think about if that is the case, how do we actually enable them to have enough challenge to build that resilience?

Which might mean getting feedback from mum that your second half is rubbish.

I always feel slightly conflicted when we say this on air on News Talk ZB.

The first thing you can do is turn the news off.

Yeah.

Because I think it is actually OK to be in a bubble.

You know, the reality is that in New Zealand, there's not a huge amount that we can do, certainly individually, but even at a national level, really, to influence events.

So I think it's about being able to recognise, again, if we go back to those basics, you know, the sleeping, the eating, blah, blah, blah, our own mood and regulation will fluctuate day to day and week to week and recognising that some days we may have the capacity to engage and some days we may not.